How To *Actually* Protect Your Energy
Your energy is sacred, here’s how to spend it wisely.
There’s this dark moment every mom knows; the one where you’re staring at the pile of laundry, the unanswered texts, the snack wrappers littering the floor, and you feel your chest tighten. Not because of any one thing… but because of all of it. You’ve been holding everyone’s schedules, moods, and needs in your head like a human whiteboard, and somehow, the world still expects you to “do it all” while smiling and looking put together.
I used to think I just needed better time management. Now I know what I needed was energy management. Because time is constant; energy is not. Your energy is the fuel for your mind, body, creativity, and patience, and unlike time, it can be stolen, drained, or replenished. When we treat it like the precious, sacred thing it is, life starts feeling less like survival mode and more like living.
1. Why Your Energy Is Sacred (and why science says so)
Your brain runs on a daily energy budget. Every choice you make (breakfast options, outfit, whether to answer that text) withdraws from that budget (hello, decision fatigue). Meanwhile, the “invisible load” of tracking everyone’s needs is a constant background app, draining battery even when the screen’s off. Over days and weeks, that ongoing stress adds to your allostatic load (the body’s wear-and-tear from chronic pressure) which messes with sleep, mood, focus, and even your hormones. Your nervous system needs a rhythm of activation (get-things-done mode) and restoration (repair-and-refuel). If life only hits the gas pedal, the tank runs dry. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish; it’s basic body literacy. It’s healthcare.
Actionable Steps
Baby Step: Choose 3 non-negotiables this month (a sleep window, one unrushed meal, 10 minutes of morning light or a quiet cup of something warm). Put them on the calendar like doctor’s orders and do not budge.
Little Step: Create a “decision diet.” Pre-decide 3–5 defaults (two go-to breakfasts, a weekly meal theme, a work outfit, a school-night routine) to cut micro-choices.
Big Step: Do a 7-day energy audit. Track what tasks give energy, what drain it, and what can be deleted, delegated, or delayed. Then actually move things: cancel, hand off, or set a start date later.
2. Find the Leaks: The Invisible Load, Emotional Labor, and Boundaries that Hold
The stuff that drains us isn’t always loud or obvious - it’s often the invisible work we’ve been conditioned to see as “just being a good mom/wife/friend.” Remembering everyone’s birthdays. Anticipating your kid’s meltdowns before they happen. Smoothing over awkward moments at family gatherings. This is emotional labor and it’s just as draining as doing the laundry.
On top of that, we’re swimming in constant task-switching. You’re making a grocery list, and then suddenly you’re paying the field trip fee, then answering an email. Each switch burns through brain fuel and leaves you more frazzled.
Actionable Steps
Baby Step: Make a “Not Mine” list of 3 tasks you’re carrying that belong to someone else (partner’s appointments, sibling drama, parents disagreements). Hand them back: “I trust you’ve got this.”
Little Step: Swap “help” for “transfer.” Instead of “I’ll help with your chores,” say “This chore is yours; I believe in you.”
Big Step: Practice 3 boundary scripts until they’re muscle memory:
“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I don’t have capacity for that. What I can do is ____.”
“I can choose A or B, not both.”
Use them in real time, even when your people-pleaser twitches.
3. Regulate to Replenish: Caring for Your Nervous System
If your body is a battery, your nervous system is the charging port. Stress is normal but being stuck in stress mode is not. When your body never shifts into “rest-and-digest,” your sleep, mood, and focus all take a hit.
Breath, gentle movement, and genuine connection are all science-backed ways to switch your system into restoration mode. And the good news? You don’t need a yoga retreat to do it.
Actionable Steps
Baby Step: Try one 60-second reset every couple hours:
Six slow exhales, longer than your inhales.
30-second hand massage.
Look out a window and name five things you see.
Little Step: Bookend your day - 5 minutes of light stretching and a quick brain dump in the morning; legs-up-the-wall or hot shower at night.
Big Step: Create a “regulation menu” of 10 go-to calming tools (breathwork, walk, grounding object, playlist, text to a safe friend, journaling, tea ritual, prayer/meditation, laughter video, a few pushups). When you’re overwhelmed, pick two.
4. Attention Is Currency: Guard It Like Cash
We treat time like money, but the real currency is attention. Every ping from your phone, every pile of clutter, every mental “don’t forget…” steals a little bit of your bandwidth. Once it’s gone, you’re running on fumes.
Actionable Steps:
Baby Step: Turn on Do Not Disturb for your top energy hour each day. Move social apps off your home screen.
Little Step: Theme your days (e.g., Monday = admin, Tuesday = creative, Wednesday = appointments) and batch similar tasks.
Big Step: Create a “Not Now” system - a running list for ideas, requests, and random thoughts that aren’t urgent. Review it weekly so you’re not mentally juggling them 24/7.
5. Relationships & Self-Talk: Energy Givers vs. Energy Vampires
The people you spend time with (and the voice you talk to yourself with) either fill your cup or poke holes in it. Constant criticism (whether from others or from your own brain) keeps you in a low-grade stress response. On the flip side, secure, honest relationships can literally regulate your nervous system in real time.
Actionable Steps:
Baby Step: Make a list in your notes app and pin it. Label it: Energy Givers vs. Energy Takers: you’re gonna write all the things that bring you joy, you’ll happily do, things that make you feel good and put it in the Givers list. Then, anything that drains you doesn’t make you feel good/yourself, or just things you can’t stand; put it in the Takers list.
Little Step: Have a “clear expectations” talk with your closest people: “Here’s what I can give this season. Here’s what I need. Let’s make a plan.”
Big Step: Do a “relationship fence check.” For anyone who consistently drains you, adjust access (shorter visits, scheduled check-ins, meet on your turf, or pause contact) without apologizing for it.
Recap
1. Your energy is sacred. Your brain and body need both activation and restoration. Treat energy like a prescription - scheduled, protected, and refilled on time and on purpose.
2. Find the leaks. Emotional labor and task-switching drain you. Name what’s not yours, transfer responsibility, and use boundary scripts without apology.
3. Regulate to replenish. Tiny daily resets tell your nervous system it’s safe to restore. Bookend your day and keep a ready-to-go regulation menu.
4. Attention is currency. Pings and clutter tax your focus. Batch, theme, and capture “Not Now” items so your brain can breathe.
5. Relationships & self-talk. Speak expectations out loud and change access when needed. Train your inner voice to coach, not criticize.
10 Gentle Reminders
You’re allowed to be unavailable without explaining why.
Rest is not a reward; it’s maintenance.
If it costs your peace, it’s too expensive.
Your worth is not your output.
Slow is smooth; smooth is fast.
Boundaries protect love; they don’t restrict it.
“No” is a complete care plan.
Tiny, repeated resets beat heroic, once-in-a-while efforts.
You can disappoint someone and still be a good woman, partner, and mom.
Energy management is self-preservation and that’s leadership.
Your Assignment
If this hit home, if you felt that little “ugh, yes” in your chest; then I’m asking you to do two things:
Pick ONE tip from this post and put it into action today. Not next week. Not “when things calm down.” Today.
Share this blog with another woman who’s burning herself out trying to “do it all.” Because protecting your energy isn’t just for you; it’s for the ripple effect it creates in every life you touch.
We’re rewriting the rulebook together - the one that says our worth is measured by exhaustion. Let’s show the world that a well-rested, clear-minded, unapologetic woman is a force.
So go ahead… screenshot it, send it, post it in your group chat.
