#12: Becoming Me Again (But This Time on Purpose)
Because we’re not here to play small or stay lost forever
You ever look at yourself mid-toy-pickup, wearing a sweatshirt with yogurt on the sleeve and a ponytail that’s holding on by sheer hope—and think, “What happened to me?” Yeah, same.
Here’s the truth bomb we don’t hear enough: You’re not meant to “go back” to who you were. That girl was great, but you’ve grown. You’ve battled sleep deprivation, soul fatigue, leaky boobs, and snack negotiations with irrational humans. You’re not lost—you’re evolving. And now? You get to rebuild yourself with intention.
Let’s talk about how to become you again—on purpose this time.
1. Call Back Your Energy from Everywhere You Left It
You’ve scattered your energy like glitter at a toddler craft table. Time to reel it back in.
Somewhere between saying yes to too many things and trying to keep everyone else’s lives afloat, you left pieces of yourself all over the damn place. You’ve been showing up out of obligation, autopilot, and straight-up survival. And while that kept things moving, it also chipped away at your energy reserves and your sense of self. This is your invitation to call your energy back home—to unplug from the noise and start choosing with intention.
Actionable Tips:
Audit your yes’s. How many things are you doing out of guilt, habit, or people-pleasing? Make a list. Circle the ones that drain you. Those are the first to go.
Unsubscribe from the chaos. Emails. Group chats. PTA drama. Opt out of anything that doesn’t spark joy or contribute to your actual growth.
Reclaim solo time like it’s sacred. Even 15 minutes locked in your car with an iced coffee and a podcast counts. It’s yours. Own it.
2. Redefine Who You Are—Not Who You Used to Be
You’re not broken. You’re just under renovation.
There’s this weird pressure to “bounce back”—not just with our bodies, but with our whole identities. Like if you could just rewind and get back to who you used to be, everything would feel right again. But truthfully? That woman is gone. And that’s not a tragedy—it’s a transformation. You’ve grown, stretched, and evolved through experiences that changed you. Now’s the time to redefine who you are now—and who you want to become next.
Actionable Tips:
Drop the “I used to…” narrative. “I used to be fun.” “I used to be spontaneous.” Cool, but who are you now? What do you want to be?
Try on new things without needing to be good at them. Pottery class? Journaling? Walking alone without pushing a stroller? Explore stuff with no performance pressure.
Pick a word that feels like future-you. Confident. Creative. Wild. Peaceful. Use that as your North Star when making choices.
3. Reconnect with What Feeds Your Soul (Not Just Your Family)
You can’t pour from an empty cup, especially one that’s been used as a bath toy.
Let’s be honest—some of us have been living on coffee, leftovers, and fumes for a little too long. We show up for our families like it’s our full-time job (because it is), but somewhere in that process, we forgot that we are people, too. Not just caregivers. Not just the one who knows where everyone’s shoes are. You are allowed—encouraged, even—to have a life that lights you up. It’s not selfish. It’s soul maintenance.
Actionable Tips:
Write a “joy list.” No judgment—just jot down everything that makes you feel lit up, calm, or like yourself. Start doing one a week, even if it’s just five minutes.
Let your kids see you take up space. They need to see Mom reading for fun, dancing in the kitchen, saying “no” to things that don’t feel right. That’s how you raise emotionally healthy humans.
Stop earning rest. You don’t need to do 47 things to “deserve” a break. You’re a human, not a productivity robot.
4. Build a Life That Actually Fits the You You're Becoming
Your new self isn’t high-maintenance—she’s high-awareness.
This is where the magic happens. Once you start remembering who you are and what you love, you get to build a life that matches. Not a life that fits the version of you from five years ago. Not one that looks perfect on Instagram. A life that feels good when your head hits the pillow at night. That means getting intentional with your time, your energy, your people, and your priorities. You’re not being “extra.” You’re being awake.
Actionable Tips:
Clean out your calendar like it’s your junk drawer. If something feels like a “ugh,” instead of a “hell yes,” let it go.
Create micro-boundaries. Doesn’t have to be dramatic. “I don’t answer texts after 9.” “Saturdays are for me.” Boom. Life-changing.
Surround yourself with people who reflect back the woman you’re becoming—not the one you're trying to outgrow. No more energy vampires or trauma-bonded group chats. We’re out here choosing expansion.
Recap:
Call Back Your Energy: You don’t need more time—you need to stop leaking your energy into things that don’t serve you.
Redefine Who You Are: You’ve changed—and it’s time to stop chasing the old you and start creating the real you.
Reconnect To Your Soul: You’re allowed to want joy, creativity, and rest—not just survival mode with snacks.
Build Your Dream Life: Design a life that honors your growth, not your past conditioning.
This isn’t about chasing some magical version of yourself. It’s about coming home to the woman you were always meant to be—the one who can laugh at the chaos, hold herself with compassion, and still make time for a hot bath and a dream. You don’t need to fix yourself. You need to find yourself—and fall in love with her all over again.
You’re not starting over. You’re rising up. On purpose.
If you found this post helpful, be sure to check out my other tips on self-care for busy moms, or browse my full collection of motherhood hacks to make life a little easier! Thank you so much for reading, remember to follow me on all my socials and don’t forget to subscribe to my website to be the first to read my weekly blog.
If no one told you today, you are an amazing mom and I see you. You wouldn’t be reading this blog if you weren’t and I am SO proud of you. Keep loving yourself too, mama.
With Love, Caitlin Nichols
