Valentine’s Day Special: Date Yourself Instead
I love my kids. I really do. But let’s be honest – sometimes, I feel like I’m a walking, talking, snack-delivering, tantrum-calming robot. My whole identity has been swallowed up by toddler demands and the endless whirlpool of messes that follow them everywhere. And let’s not even talk about the state of my “me time.” It’s hard to remember what that even means.
But you know what? I deserve a little bit of fun. I deserve to date myself. Yep, you heard me right. It’s time to stop waiting for someone else to make me feel special or take me out. It’s time for some good ol’ self-love, because if I don't take care of myself, who’s gonna do it? Whether that’s escaping to a new coffee shop to sip an overpriced latte and people watch or making dinner reservations for one to enjoy a hot meal. I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember the last time I ate more than 3 bites of a fresh, hot dinner without being pulled away for something my daughter could have done herself. Us moms are always being dragged, pulled or called out for but we rarely take the time to put effort into our own care, needs, or desires.
So, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to make a special blog thats all about dating ourselves and how exactly does one do that while having little ones at home. If you have an amazing support system, a small village or it’s just you, call in that baby sitter and make the time for you, mama. You’re not the only one that needs it, your kids actually need you to do it so you come back less stressed, lighter on your feet and refreshed with “slightly” more patience than when you left. They need you to love yourself and show them how to love themselves through watching you. If you’re taking care of yourself, they will follow in your steps and take care of themselves just like you. They’re little mirrors or those mimes you see in movies in France where they copy everything you do.
Why Dating Yourself Is So Important
Let’s dive into something that might be a little foreign to you right now—dating yourself. I know, it sounds crazy, right? Between the diaper changes, snack-making, never ending laundry, tantrum-dodging, and trying to figure out how the heck you’re supposed to make dinner with one hand while holding a screaming child in the other, “dating yourself” probably feels like an impossible task. But trust me, it’s not just important—it’s essential.
As a mom, you’re running on fumes most of the time. You’ve become the chef, the counselor, the chauffeur, the personal assistant, and the referee. You give and give and give, and at the end of the day, you’re left feeling like an empty shell of a person. But here’s the kicker—if you keep pouring from an empty cup, you’ll run out of juice (and quickly). That’s where dating yourself comes in.
Now, I’m not saying you need to go on a romantic date with yourself (though, that’s how I’m going to spend V-Day), but you do need to start carving out some time to reconnect with the person you were before becoming the superhero of your family. You need to remember that you’re not just a mom—you’re a person with needs, dreams, and the right to sit down and drink an entire coffee within an hour of making it.
When you take time to date yourself, it’s not selfish—it’s self-preservation. And no, that doesn’t mean a five-minute trip to the bathroom with the door locked (though, let’s be real, that counts as "me time" too). It means actually giving yourself permission to be alone with your thoughts, to have fun, to do things that bring you joy—things that don’t involve wiping someone else’s butt or answering the eternal question, “What’s for dinner?”
When you make the time to date yourself, you’re doing more than just pampering yourself—you’re investing in your overall well-being, which benefits everyone around you. You’ll be more emotionally available, more present, and just generally more you. And guess what? When you feel good, you show up in the world as a happier, more grounded mom, which means your family benefits too. And let’s talk about the magic that happens when you actually go on that date with yourself: you actually become a better mom. Yep, that’s right. When you take care of yourself and make space to take yourself on a date, you’ll come back with more patience for the tantrums, daily indecisions, more energy for the bedtime routines, and more love to pour into your family. Because, here’s the truth: when you feel like you’re you again (not just "Mom"), you show up as a better version of yourself. You have more to give—mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Dating yourself also helps you reconnect with the things that made you feel like you before the chaos of motherhood. Whether it’s reading a book without someone asking you to read their book 17 times in a row, walking alone without a stroller, or getting lost in a guilty-pleasure movie that doesn’t have anything to do with cartoons, you need those moments. They remind you that you’re more than just a parent—you’re a woman with hobbies, passions, and desires beyond “momming.”
It doesn’t have to be some grand, expensive affair (unless you want it to be). It can be as simple as enjoying a meal that’s actually still warm, taking a solo walk where no one is asking you to carry them, or binge-watching a show you love without a single interruption. The point is to create space in your life where you can recharge, laugh, and remind yourself that you’re a person who deserves love, care, and attention.
So, here’s your official reminder: you not only deserve it, but you have a obligation to date yourself. Whether it’s five minutes, five hours, or five days (if you’re lucky), you are worth it. So go ahead, take that solo trip to the coffee shop. Read that book. Take a bubble bath that’s uninterrupted (or, let’s be real, as uninterrupted as it gets). Because when you take care of you, you can give even more love to the people who matter most. And that’s the secret to happy motherhood, right there. I’m going to give you 7 solo date ideas that you can take yourself on that will help build up your self love, self confidence and reclaim yourself little by little. Feel free to pick one or more off the list or come up with one that is more suited for you based on these ideas.
Solo Date Idea #1: Coffee Shop Escapade – The Art of Doing Nothing
Let’s kick things off with the simplest solo date: A coffee shop escape. This is the mom version of heaven. No one is asking me for snacks. No one’s interrupting my thoughts. I’m not dodging a tantrum or wiping a dirty face. It’s just me, my cup of overpriced espresso, and the glorious peace that comes with being in public and not having to wrangle little humans.
You can sit there and scroll mindlessly through your phone, read a good book, journal your stresses away, listen to a relaxing playlist or maybe even dare to people-watch without being interrupted by "MOMMMMMYYYY!" every five minutes. Plus, there’s always something so satisfying about drinking a coffee while it’s still fresh. And let’s be real, that’s an achievement in itself.
Solo Date Idea #2: A Solo Stroll – No Destination, Just Vibes
If you want a date that costs nothing and feels like everything, take yourself on a hot mom walk. Leave the car at home, pop on your favorite playlist (or your favorite podcast, depending on your mood), and just walk. Don’t even have a destination in mind. It’s not about getting anywhere, it’s about enjoying the journey. You know, like in the movies, except you're wearing sneakers, not heels, and you're not running from some random villain.
Take in the sights. Smell the fresh air. Look at the flowers. And breathe—like, really breathe—without anyone pulling on your leg or asking you for juice every two seconds. It’s a mini mental vacation.
Solo Date Idea #3: A Bath That Won’t Be Interrupted by a Tiny Human Screaming At You
Now, this one’s a classic: a nice bubble bath. But, and here’s the kicker—it’s a bath without anyone screaming, “MOMMY, I AM GROOT!” or trying to climb in with you. You know those times when you’re trying to get a quick soak and your toddler tries to turn it into their bath? Yeah, no. This time, it's all about you. Throw in your favorite bath salts or a LUSH bath bomb, get the bubbles going, light a candle, and let the stress of the day wash away.
Trust me, it’s amazing how much clearer your mind will be after just 20 minutes of soaking in peace. You’ll feel like a new person. Or at least you’ll feel like a person who’s not constantly covered in watered down juice and snacks.
Solo Date Idea #4: DIY Spa Night – You’re Worth the Queen Treatment
Okay, if you can’t get out of the house, then you bring the spa to you. I’m talking about a DIY spa night. Slap on that face mask, run a hot shower, and throw on some high vibrational music. Pour yourself a glass of wine (or whatever beverage feels right), and embrace that “luxury” vibe. Paint your nails. Do a foot soak. Get all the lotions out. You deserve this moment to unwind, even if your toddler is inevitably going to walk in and ask you for more screen time on their iPad for the 3rd time this evening.
Solo Date Idea #5: A Trip to the Bookstore – Where Books Are the Best Companions
If you're into getting lost in your thoughts, a trip to the bookstore is a must. It's like an adventure for your brain. I mean, There’s just something so comforting about the smell of all those brand new books when you first walk into a bookstore. You get to peruse the shelves in peace, pick out whatever book sparks joy, and just zone out for a while. It’s a beautiful way to give your brain some much-needed space without anyone needing you to read them the same story for the hundredth time.
Solo Date Idea #6: Movie Marathon – No Disney, Just What You Want
Finally, the solo movie marathon. The beauty of this? No animated princesses. No talking animals. It’s all about you. You know those movies you’ve been wanting to watch on your list, but can’t because your toddler is convinced they need to watch "Despicable Me" for the 457th time? Yeah, now’s your chance. Get cozy, grab your chocolate stash, pop that buttery popcorn, throw on your favorite pajamas, and binge-watch something that makes you feel like an adult again. No interruptions, distractions or sharing allowed. No “MOM, I’m hungry!” It’s just you, the couch, and your flick.
Solo Date #7: Dinner Reservations For One, Please!
This is my first Valentine’s Day single in YEARS and I cannot wait to take myself out on a solo dinner for the first time! I’m getting dressed up, glammed up, and going to wear my special occasion perfume - all for myself! I’ve made myself some dinner reservations, got my little monster’s dad to watch them for the night and I’m gonna wine and dine myself like the queen I am. If you were to tell me even 6 months ago if I had plans for V-Day I would have laughed or said “Fuck Valentine’s Day”. But with my new self-love era and learning how to date myself, I am confident and actually excited for it. I’m going to sip on a mocktail, order myself a delicious plate, maybe even a little dessert and just soak in the love around me. I won’t be thinking, “I wish I had that” instead my mindset shift is “There’s so much love and abundance out there and I’m so happy for everyone”. I deserve a night out to feel like I am on a proper date while filling my cup up with so much love for myself and enjoying a mouth-watering meal while it’s actually still hot!
Recap: List Of Solo Dates To Help You Date Yourself
Coffee Shop Escape - try a new latte, bring a book or simply relax and sip away the worries
Hot Mom Walk - jam to your favorite music or learn something with a new podcast
Bubble Bath Time - soak deep into a lavender-filled, purple colored epsom salt bath in silence
At-Home Spa Night - grab your face & hair mask, nail polish and shower steam block with no distractions
Explore The Bookstore - take a deep whiff of those brand new books, take your time and explore
Movie Marathon - pop some popcorn, grab your go-to chocolate, full glass of wine and binge away
Wine & Dine Yourself - make reservations to get dolled up and enjoy a fresh, hot meal with no interruptions
So there you have it, ladies. Dating yourself doesn’t have to be a grand affair. It’s about finding those little pockets of peace in the chaos and carving out time to remind yourself that you’re more than just a mom – you’re an individual with your own needs, desires, and dreams.
You deserve to feel special, to feel seen, and to feel like yourself again. So, take a moment, plan a solo date, and just breathe. Because when you take care of yourself, you’re better able to take care of everyone else. And who knows? You might just start looking forward to these solo dates as much as you look forward to your next coffee break.
Which one of these solo dates are you going to try? Drop it in the comments and let me know, or tag me on your next solo date and I’ll feature it on my website! If you found this post helpful, share it with a mom friend that you think would benefit from this.
Be sure to check out my other tips on self-everything for busy moms, or browse my full collection on motherhood hacks to make life a little more manageable! Thank you so much for reading and don’t forget to subscribe to my website to be the first to read my weekly blog!
If no one told you today, let me be the first to say, you are an amazing mom and I see you hustling. You wouldn’t be reading this blog if you weren’t trying to better yourself for your family and yourself and I am SO proud of you. Keep glowing mama, you go this.
With Love, Caitlin ♡
