How To Get Outta Your Own Damn Way
You keep saying “someday” like it’s a date on the calendar. Or “I’ll start when I have more time,” or maybe you’ve said the laughable statement of “I’ll do it when things calm down,”
I’m sorry to break it to you babe but it’ll never calm down and it’s time to stop getting in your own way. Afraid? Nervous? Don’t feel ready? All of that is completely normal but it’s also what’s holding you back.
You’re allowed to start, even if you’re scared and you’re still allowed to dream big, even when it feels impossible. Motivation is a myth, but you know what isn’t? Action. So this is your sign to take action and accountability for your life. I want you to do it scared. I want you to try it regardless of how unqualified you may think you are or how uncomfortable you feel.
In this one, I’m breaking down how to get out of your own damn way and finally do the thing — scared, unmotivated, or halfway losing it. Because “someday” isn’t a plan.
Let’s grab our coffee or wine, *take a deep breath*, and let’s get right into it.
Chapter One:
Why We Need To Get Outta Our Own Damn Way
Growth doesn’t happen in the cozy, familiar comfort zone. It happens in that awkward, sweaty-palmed, slightly terrifying place just outside of it. I pride myself on making this podcast real, raw and unapologetically authentic so just know I will be 100% with you; always. So when I say I’ve postponed recording this episode for weeks (& I do mean WEEKS) and then once I finally got the nerve to do it, I’ve probably re-recorded it at least 14 times and spent hours editing it. But I didn’t let it stop me from posting it regardless if it was perfect or not, (which is huge for me because I’m a recovering perfectionist.)
Here’s the thing: our mom-brains literally try to protect us from discomfort. Psychologists call it “the comfort zone effect” —it’s when your brain interprets uncertainty as danger, so it tries to steer you back toward what’s familiar, even when what’s familiar is burnout, self-doubt, or procrastination. That’s why when you try something new, whether it’s starting a side hustle, going back to school, or even setting a boundary, it’s literally trying to protect you, even if what you’re doing isn’t actually dangerous.
This is where “getting out of your own way” comes in.
Fear and resistance aren’t signs that you shouldn’t move forward or cancel the plans you made— it’s actually proof that you’re heading toward growth.
Think about it like motherhood:
You didn’t wait until you felt ready to become a mom - because spoiler alert: none of us are truly ready.
You didn’t wait until you had the perfect schedule to potty train your kid. You did it messy, exhausted, and probably crying in the bathroom at least once — but you did it anyway.
You didn’t expect it to be so hard dropping your first baby off to school for the first time but you got through it (I wasn’t crying, you were)
Every time you take action despite the fear, you’re rewiring your brain to see that discomfort won’t kill you. That’s how confidence is actually built — not by waiting until you feel brave, but by proving to yourself that you are brave already. The magic happens when you take that first step anyway.
You’re never going to truly feel ready. You’re supposed to start scared. So the next time you think, “I can’t do this,” try flipping it to, “This feels uncomfortable because I’m growing.”
Growth may not feel good, but we already know that staying stuck isn’t cutting it either.
Chapter 2:
How to actually get out of your own damn way
#1. “I don’t need to feel ready to begin.”
This is a tough love moment but your brain is never going to suddenly wake up one day and say, “Okay, now I’m ready, confident and emotionally stable enough to start.” That day is not going to come, babes. In psychology they call it behavioral activation — meaning you make the move first, the motivation shows up later. When you had a baby, you weren’t “ready,” you just did it. Same rule applies here: you don’t wait to feel ready. You start, and readiness grows around you.
#2. “Discomfort isn’t a stop sign — it’s a sign of growth.”
We have this bad habit of only celebrating the big stuff — launches, weight loss, huge milestones — and ignoring all the microscopic wins that got us there. But the brain doesn’t care about size; it cares about the follow-through. Every time you do even one tiny thing you said you would do — one email, one page, one boundary, one minute — your brain logs it as “I’m someone who follows through.” That’s identity change in motion and the more you do those microscopic wins, the more you are rewriting your subconscious mind into those wins becoming who you actually are, and just one baby step at a time.
#3. “Thinking about it or planning it, is not the same as doing it.”
Planning doesn’t build a new life — action does. Moms are professional overthinkers and under-starters. You can journal about it, talk about it, pin it, vision board it — but until you take a physical step, nothing in your real world shifts. Your brain will happily hand you fake dopamine for simply planning. Real dopamine (the progress kind) comes from execution. It won’t just fall into your hands because you ask your higher power for it, unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. So in order to truly get what you want in your life, you must take at least one baby step towards it each day.
#4. “I don’t need a 3-hour window — I just need 2-minutes.”
The 2-minute rule used in habit science proves that lowering the threshold for initiation bypasses resistance. Motherhood destroys big chunks of free time — so stop waiting for them. Research shows you just need to start for a couple of minutes to trick the brain into wanting to finish. Write one sentence. Do one rep. Send one message. Two minutes turns into thirty once you’re in motion. You don’t need time — you need ignition.
#5 “I refuse to make myself the barrier between me and the life I want.”
We blame time, kids, exhaustion, messes to clean, uncertainty — but the truth is, the biggest blocker is usually us. Our excuses. Our fear of looking dumb. Our need to do it perfectly. At some point you have to decide: either protect your comfort or build your future. One of them has to win. And I hope, for your sake, your future wins.
#6 “If I wait until life is easy, I’ll wait forever.”
There is no rescue coming. There is no magical future day where the house is clean, the kids are quiet, your energy is high, your brain is regulated, and your intrusive fears are gone. Waiting for ease is a life-long stall button. The women who change their lives don’t do it when things lighten up — they do it while life is heavy. If you can start now, at your most overwhelmed, you become unstoppable when things finally ease later.
I also want to remind you that you are NOT too late.
Did you know that Vera Wang became a designer at the age of 40?
What about Shonda Rhimes? She didn’t create Grey’s Anatomy until she was 35 and Scandal at 41.
Or Martha Stewart didn’t even start her own business until she was in her 40’s?
How about J.K. Rowling? She was 32 as a broke single mother who was literally rejected 12 times before Harry Potter was finally published.
Can’t forget one of my favorites, Mel Robbins. She didn’t write The 5 Second Rule or become a global speaker until her 40s. Before that? Lawsuits, debt, depression, zero direction. Late start, massive impact.
Chapter 3:
The realistic action plan on how to get outta your own damn way
This is the part where we stop nodding along and actually start. You don’t get to consume personal growth like entertainment and then go right back to scrolling. You gotta apply it.
So here are your choices. And yes - you gotta at least pick one:
Option A: Choose one
Pick ONE baby-step and do it once this week. One move. One moment. One tiny crack in your old pattern.
Option B: 2-3 Combo
Stack two or three steps. Do a mix — a 2-minute start here, a chaos-start there, maybe one anti-self-sabotage action.
Option C: Go All-In
Do all of them across the week — one a day for 7 days — and prove to every version of you who thought you couldn’t that she was wrong.
Here are the steps so you have zero excuses:
One - The Ignition: Begin BEFORE you feel ready. 2 minutes, no negotiating. Set a timer if you have to.
Two - The Growth Pause: When it feels gross, say “this is growth” and push for 60 more seconds.
Three - Convert Thought → Action: Take one idea you’ve been mentally circling and do one physical step within 24 hours.
Four - Anti-Sabotage: Identify your signature self-block and do the opposite of it - today.
And five - The Chaos Start: Do the thing IN the messy chaos of motherhood, not after life magically calms down. Because I don’t know who told you that bullshit but spoiler alert; it will never fully calm down; so you might as well embrace the roller coaster of being a mother while you do the damn thing anyways.
Now, you are going to choose one, a combo, or the whole damn set.
Not because it’s easy - because staying stuck is harder.
And if you need a boost of accountability, either drop a comment on which option & step you’re gonna try, share it with a friend to join in with you, or send me a message and tag me in your posts so I can cheer you on.
Just remember, your life does not change because you listened to a podcast.
It changes because you acted on it.
GENTLE REMINDER
You are not behind.
You’re not too late.
You’re not broken for needing baby steps and your emotional support coffee.
You’re a mom doing life on hard mode — and you are still capable of building something bigger than the season you’re in.
Do it scared.
Do it tired.
Do it small.
Just don’t do nothing.
If this lit a fire under your butt in the best way - go follow the podcast, hit that 5-star rating so more moms can find it, and share it to your stories so your girls can get out of their own damn way too.
I’m proud of you, I love you so much; now go pick your path and go do one brave thing today.
I’ll see you in the next one and remember to love yourself too, mama ❤️
With Love, Caitlin Nichols
